With our lives being as full as they are, and our many different types of relationships sometimes being as complicated as they are, it can be difficult to recognise if we are really on our right path. We were all put on this earth for a reason. We have a purpose because we have life. We have a destiny to fulfill. So how can we recognise if we are following the path we are supposed to be following?
Interestingly enough, it’s pretty easy to answer this question. In a nutshell, we can recognise that we are following our rightful path when we are not put in a position to betray ourselves.
But what does that actually mean? How do we know when we are betraying ourselves so we can recognise when we are not? Here’s some insight into what we mean when we talk about betraying ourselves:
1. You’re Not Put in a Position to Negotiate Your Sense of Integrity
We all have values. We all know when those values are being trodden on by others. Whether it be by our friends, our family, our employer, our colleagues. When we negotiate our sense of integrity, we are making a choice to overlook something that is important to us at our core. It can be something as simple as your boss or colleagues being unkind to you and you keeping quiet about it, all the way through to lying about ourselves and our thoughts and opinions in the hope that someone else will accept and love us. Over time, this will knock us off course as we begin to accept and believe that we are at the mercy of others and their opinions and requests.
2. There’s No Compromise of Who You Are
We know we are being compromised when we are feeling uneasy. When something doesn’t sit right with us and it just doesn’t feel right. We possibly can’t even find words to describe or explain it. It’s something that you are just not comfortable with. The result of this uneasiness is that it might be costing you your power, your psyche, or your soul. You’ve given your power to someone else. You’ve let someone else call the shots.
3. You Aren’t Confused on Some Deep Level
When things are happening to us and around us that have us betraying ourselves, we can find that our inner self becomes confused on a deeper level. Let me try to describe this feeling. You are in a relationship that was great in the early days. As time has gone on, this person has started to say some unkind things to you, blame you for things that aren’t going so well, accusing you of nagging them or they continue to drag up the past. Yet they still buy you gifts, spend time with you (but on their schedule!), and share intimacy with you. This is confusing for you at a deeper level as many of these actions show love but they sometimes don’t feel like love, and sometimes it feels like the giveth with one hand and with the other they taketh away.
4. You Are Not Losing Yourself
This is what happens when you feel like you are no longer in control of anything. You may come home from work emotionally drained having spent the whole day spinning your wheels or being compromised in some way or another. You are not clear on what you are doing and why it’s important and you feel like a pawn on a chess board. When we’ve betrayed ourselves, we lose sight and sense of ourselves and what role we play, and allow such things to happen.
The Important Difference between Compromise and Betrayal
We’ve been talking about betrayal. However, some people can easily confuse compromise with betrayal. Here’s how to differentiate between the two:
- Betrayal is when it costs you (your integrity, power, pysche, soul)
- Compromise is when you do so willingly and out of love (give a little here and there) without any betrayal of yourself.
In other words, when it comes to compromise, you haven’t bitten into that poison apple by compromising.
Some Thoughts to Leave You With…
It is said that you’re always on the right path. If things are not going your way and you are finding yourself at odds with the world, then you are just not managing your path particularly well right now. What does that mean? Most likely, you are making unwise choices that are harming you and your ability to follow your true path. And when this happens and your life path begins to harm you, you have taken a temporary detour.
However, be aware, because as much as other people can hurt and betray us and lead us onto a detour, the biggest betrayal you can experience is self-betrayal – when you consciously make choices that give away your power, compromise your integrity, and allow yourself to be lost.
Want Some Help to Find Your Path?
If you are interested in working with me to help discover and uncover your true path, contact me to set up a free 1-hour coaching session where we can begin that journey and you can learn what coaching can do for you.
Photo credit: Tim Green aka atoach / Foter / CC BY