You’re exhausted every day.  You struggle to get out of bed in the morning and you barely make it to work on time.  You spend your evenings and weekends vegging out on the couch in front of the TV barely able to move, or have a conversation, let alone go out and socialise.  In fact the thought of it makes you dig deeper into your bag of Haribo!

When you started your job, you thought it was going to be amazing.  It all looked so good: a great company, interesting position, new city, and a key member in a new team, decent salary.  And at the beginning, it felt that way.  But as time passed you began to notice that things were not quite as they should be.  And the worst part – you are too exhausted in the spare time you do have after working long hours and travelling for work to look for something else.  What a pickle!

But guess what – you are the only one who is standing in your way.  Yes, you heard me!  You’ve become your own worst enemy.  You are allowing yourself to be bullied by your job, your colleagues, and your delusions that what you are experiencing is perfectly OK.

Well, it’s not good enough.  You deserve better.  You deserve to have the opportunity to be brilliant.  You deserve to live a life outside of work where you can pursue your hobbies, make friends, and do the things that make you uniquely you.

Remember Your Brilliance

It’s difficult to find the enthusiasm to move onto bigger and better things when you are stuck in a small box.  You are currently living a life according to the perceptions of others – letting them control how you feel about yourself, your capabilities, and your value.

So the first thing you need to do is realise that.  Admit to yourself that you are being controlled by your circumstances and your feelings and refuse to let it continue.  Be clear with yourself about what you want and are willing to accept.  Be aware that you get to choose what you take on board as feedback from others and how you let it affect you, and remember that they don’t know the whole you.  Remind yourself just how amazing your skills and personality are – and how much more you have to give and learn.

Live Your Life By Your Values

The second thing you need to think about is what you really stand for.  Companies have values, and most likely, they used them as basis for your interview.  That’s how they check they are getting the right people on board who can live their culture.  But guess what – you have values too.

You have a set of “rules” you live your life by, whether you are aware of them or not.  So before you go leaping from the frying pan into the fire, make a pit stop to check in with your own values.  And I’m not talking about honesty, integrity and respect, and many of the other values you hear companies refer to.  I’m talking about your unique take on what’s important to you, using words that work for you.  For example, you may have a “skirt and heels” value (the power of femininity), or a “greater good” value (it’s about more than just me), or another one that makes sense to you and only you.

Recognise Your Own Gifts and Talents

The third tip I want to share with you is to spend some time becoming really familiar with your amazing gifts and talents.  Often,  we may think, or were led to believe, that our natural born talent was something that was frivolous, unproductive, self-indulging, or (worst-of-all) “normal”!  As children, you may have assumed that everyone could do what you could do and so considered yourselves and your abilities  as “normal”.  Well, now is the time to do away with such thoughts and beliefs and to celebrate and rediscover your talents.

So dust off your musical instruments, crack out your art set, get back in the swimming pool – do whatever it was you loved doing as a kid, or be curious enough to take a trip to hobbycraft or another store that might inspire you to try something new.  Get creative, get lost in something, dance, sing, and remember that you might not have yet discovered your unique contribution to this world.

Your Turn

What have you tried to get you out of your current situation?  What are you letting control you?  If you were to pick one of these three tips, which one appeals most to you at this moment in time?  Share with us.

Your First Stepping Stone

Read the overview of my “From Job Adversity to Career Prosperity” programme that has been designed for people like you who want to get on and be a much more productive, fulfilled and happy version of themselves, in full control of their career and their life around it.  Contact me to discuss your situation in more detail and for a free sample coaching session.