Zippy

ZippyLet’s not beat around the bush here – corporate life can suck!  There are a load of written rules, unwritten rules, meetings, inbox overflow, more meetings, long days stretching into long nights, office pranks, politics, back-stabbing, and general lack of recognition for the fact that you give them both your life and soul on a daily basis!

 

Just thinking about it sends me into a bit of a panicked frenzy.  If you are living it every day, you must be exhausted, moody, and maybe even wondering how much longer you can hold on?

You Are Not Alone

Many people feel the very same way.  And yet we carry on doing the same thing day in, day out, accepting it for what it is, getting more and more disengaged, and finding ways to cope.  We let our jobs take the best of us, thinking that is “just the way it is” or “there’s nothing better out there”, or even “it doesn’t seem to bother anyone else so why should it bother me?”

Do you really believe those things you are telling yourself?  Really, really?!  Whatever excuse you are giving yourself for it being OK to feel the way you do – say it out loud now.  And again.  Are you now crying, or laughing?  Did saying it out loud bring out the true meaning of your situation that has now brought you to tears.  Or does it sound so ridiculous that you are rolling on the floor laughing?  Whichever it was for you, FANTASTIC!  Now you know how you really feel.  We can work with that!

 

So What Now?

Funny you ask.  There are so many ways this could go, and everyone you talk to about it will give you different advice and tell you what they would do.  Here are three things for you to think about to get you started:

 

SEE IT FOR WHAT IT REALLY IS

As a coach, I believe in the concept of perspectives.  On any given topic, in any given moment, we are “stuck” in a perspective.  Within the last minute, you have determined that you are either in a sad and tearful perspective, or a rolling-on-the-floor-laughing perspective.  And the great thing about perspectives is that you can change them.

You have the choice.  You can look at this as the worst thing in the world that has brought you to tears, or you can choose to be angry about it, or fatalist, or lazy.  All of these are realistic choices and valid perspectives – but are they helpful?  Probably not.

Maybe you found yourself laughing at the ridiculousness of what the excuse sounded like out loud.  That’s a perspective too.  Maybe you are now laughing at your excuse having initially reacted with tears.  Let’s call this perspective “wake up call”.    You’ve just seen it for what it really is.

It is a situation that is currently happening and you are looking at it from just one possible perspective.  You now get to choose the perspective you want to see it from.  Try these on for size: “exciting springboard”, or “passing storm”, or “winter hibernation”, or even “starting blocks”.  Notice how much your energy has shifted about this same situation just by giving it a new name – a new perspective?

 

TAKE CONTROL OF WHAT YOU CAN

You may not have control of the situation around you, but you certainly have control of yourself and how you react to your surroundings.  You can control your actions and reactions.  You can’t control what others perceive, think or do.  So stop trying.  Stop busting your ass to impress your boss, or your co-workers.  Stop bending over backwards to do everything people ask.  Stop being so nice.

Glass Balls

You get to control your thoughts.  You get to control your behaviours.  Find the energy to sit down and really think about what’s important to you in your job (and in your life).  What are the things that absolutely have to be done so you don’t run the risk of getting fired.  Those are you glass balls – you can’t drop them or they will smash.  You might need to crack out your job description to remind yourself what you are actually paid to do!

Once you have determined what your glass balls are, the rest are your rubber balls.  Those are all the other things that you do that if they were to be dropped, they would bounce back.  You have control of them, and sometimes that means you have to drop them (you are allowed to drop some rubber balls if they are going to compromise your care of the glass ones).

Rubber BallsAnd rubber balls are easier for others to catch when you throw them back over at them – as in, start saying no or negotiate a share in responsibility.  Let your assertiveness kick in and stop being so nice.  Nobody likes nice people.  They are “so vanilla”.  We like people who have a bit of spice and pizazz.

How do you feel now?

 

 

GET OUT

This is in third place for a reason.  Several actually.  I don’t believe that getting out should be the first option once you are aware of what’s really going on – although depending on the situation it might be.  Getting out is a big deal.  It can be much easier to change your approach and attitude to your current situation than looking for something new.  If you want to get out, you are giving yourself permission to draw your line in the sand and make a decision that what’s happening right now is just something you won’t accept anymore.

Not all corporations are built the same.  You have so many choices for your next step.  Is it a job with a similar sized organisation that has a better culture?  Is it a smaller company?  Is it starting up something of your own?  All of these are the right decision – you just need to pick the one that’s right for you, for now.  Nothing in your career is set in stone.  Change it now, and then change it again.  You might need a stepping stone job just to get your head back into a healthier place.  There is a whole world out there of opportunities.

 

So What’s It Going To Be?

It wasn’t so long ago that I felt this very same way.  And after months of complaining about it to friends, family, and coaching friends alike, one of my coach friends turned round to me and said something along the lines of “I’ve heard enough of this same story.  If you are not willing to do anything about it to change the situation, I don’t want to hear anymore about it!”  My reaction:  “holy crap!”  I was shocked.  But she was right.  I’d spent 6 months complaining to everyone who would or wouldn’t listen and enrolling them into my excuses.  And now it was time to put up and shut up, or leave.

I chose to leave.  Found a new job with a smaller company and started my coaching business.  I love my job, I love my business.  I’ve more energy than ever before, I’m looking after myself better, and I am actually spending time with friends instead of the TV.

 

Share Your Insights

Where are you now with your new perspective on your current situation?  What’s really going on?  What can you take control of?  What do you want to take control of?  Is it time to leave?  Move on?  Share your thoughts and comments below.

 

Your First Stepping Stone

If you want the same for yourself, read more about my “From Job Adversity to Career Prosperity” programme and contact me to book a free 1-hour coaching consultation to learn more.